Endlessly
by SephiChan
Summary: The Planet has grown calm, but the past will not be forgotten.


I started writing this because I had this insane desire to write a fan fiction for FFVII (as if I haven't done enough). Originally started in 2005, I resumed writing (after making several changes to the first chapter) in 2007.

The inspiration for this fan fiction came while listening to the song of the same title—"Endlessly"—by Muse.

The timeline for the story falls into place sometime after FFVII, the video game, and disregards anything related to other storylines—that means, while you read, pretend Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, Before Crisis, etc. never existed.

* * *

As I reflected, I could only come to one conclusion: I wish it had ended differently. Everything could have been perfect; lives could have been saved and everyone could have actually been happy. Sometimes, life doesn't allow things to happen the way we want them to, no matter what we do to make it so. As I pondered, I continuously came back to the same question: How would it be if she was still alive?

As a former SOLDIER, I was trained and even _engineered_ to be cold and ruthless. Yet somehow on my journey I had found an inspiration that quickly took over my heart. She was beautiful, kind, and generous… yet tragic.

I wound strands of blonde hair around my fingers and pulled at them idly, lost in my thoughts of the flower girl. I had not yet noticed my chin on the hardwood table, or the pained expression on my face. Everything had become distorted and dreamlike to my wandering mind as I rested there.

"…ot to do something… Cloud, are you listening? …Cloud?" a gentle voice resounded in the room. For a moment, I could have sworn it was hers. Startled, I sat upright immediately and stared wide-eyed at the one speaking. My jaw dropped slightly, and perhaps… I could have begun to cry, if the moment hadn't been snatched away from me.

"Yo, spiky-ass! Tifa's talkin' to you!"

Barret. His gruff voice was recognizable anywhere, and was notorious for disrupting my rapture.

As my expression fell blandly once more, I saw the one in pink and lace slowly melt into a more jagged, realistic figure—Tifa. She frowned at me, and it was very unbecoming of her soft face. I started to wish I hadn't shown up today.

Sighing and straightening up in my chair at the table, it was clear I was not much of one for sentiment. She could cheer her own self up. I had other things on my mind. The tavern was too quiet for me after being conditioned to the bustle of the Seventh Heaven in Midgar. It was getting on my nerves how "personal" this little meeting was beginning to feel.

"Cloud, I was just saying…" Tifa trailed off, pain in her voice. I knew she was just covering it up when she cleared her throat and began over again, quickly this time. "I was saying that I'd like you and Barret to come on board with me while this place gets its foot in the door! I could really use some help running the tavern, and I don't know many people around here."

It was true. Not many people in Costa Del Sol were there to stay for more than a couple of weeks. As a resort town, it was pretty hard finding anyone to work who didn't already have a job somewhere else in the town. And Tifa wasn't exactly well-known, either, so it wasn't as though employees would be flocking to her.

"Sorry, no can do Tifa. Marlene needs me, and this ain't the place to raise her. I've got obligations back in Correl anyways." The burly man put his good hand on the table and pushed his chair back to excuse himself. "Dis is between the two of you." Standing, he took his heavy steps to the door and exited without saying more.

Barret had hardly been there any time at all. He just left. He left, and handed me a tough decision. Not that I cared if Tifa was on her own, but she was my best friend, and I couldn't just take off on her like he had. We'd been through far too much together. Maybe that's why Barret took off. The man never was good at handling his emotions.

"Well? Um… Cloud?"

I came to realize my arms had been crossed over my chest for quite some time now, and my head was bent with closed eyes. I had been like that a lot recently…

"You've been acting strange lately…"

"_Exactly,"_ I thought. That was exactly it. Not even I could recognize it when it happened—only afterwards, when some outside force had brought it to my attention. My thoughts had been a jungle of dark and unfriendly memories—paths on which I dare not tread. And thus, I became lost.

"…and I think this could help you loosen up." She leaned on the table towards me, apparently too antsy to sit down. "Cloud, I need your help." Those big brown eyes were pouting, just begging me to stay. She really was concerned about me. Then again, she had every reason to be.

"Not _mine_," I responded dryly. I watched the shadows on the wall out of my eyes' corners to avoid her face. She wouldn't like it.

She responded quietly as frustration rose inside her, "What?"

"It's not _my_ help you need," I clarified, rapidly pushing back my chair and standing, eyes still avoiding hers. "Sorry. I'm not the person for the job."

As I turned to leave, I could still hear her desperately plead on in the background about my staying. Most of her words became nothing but noise to my ears, interference to my thoughts. It became my opinion that she no longer cared about the tavern help—she just wanted me around.

Damn people. Damn people like _her_. Why couldn't she just say that she wanted me there? Couldn't she tell me why? No; it wasn't her style, she had to make me think that she needed help with a lousy bar instead of even _hinting_ on the fact that she was lonely in my absence. I cared about her, but I could only take so much emotional interaction for one day. Besides, my mind was refusing to stay anchored. I would console Tifa another time, but for now…

I left her tavern without another word, and I know I must have stood out wildly in the sunny summer town, a dark stain on golden sheets of tan skin and swimsuits. I could only bear to wear the SOLDIER suit I had always worn—or was it Zack's? That was another thought for another time. At least my newly acquired cape made me feel a little more havened from the others, black as the shadows in my mind.

I could not believe I had come here. Why the HELL wasn't I following my heart…? I had a mission, a purpose in my soul and mind and I HAD to carry on. My feet soon understood and picked up the pace of my already sprinting spirit, carrying me towards the border of town. Why the hell wasn't I in Nibelheim looking for clues? Why had I allowed myself to get sidetracked from my quest?

I had sworn, only moments ago, that meeting Tifa was a distraction from my purpose. But Tifa would claim, if asked, that I was distracted from the world. Which was really the distraction? My thoughts or my reality? I could not seem to determine which was the real issue at hand that needed dealing with, and which was the sidetracking trap lingering beside me.

I knew only one thing at that time, and had only one thought to guide my feet from them on. I had to find Aeris.


End file.
